Monday, July 13, 2009

It is an amazing fact—amazing to me, anyway—that after much experience over many years and often having earned it, I can still not stand not to be liked, or rather to be actively disliked. I'm sure there's a deep or shallow psychological explanation for it and I'm fairly certain I know what the (correct) explanation is. But, my mood and happiness are constantly in the hands of not just those I care about but almost anyone with whom I interact, since I apparently care enough about them to care that they not dislike me. Thus I am a bad debater fearing always that I might give offense, in spite of my temper I don't object even when I treated in egregious ways, I can't negotiate, I constantly want nothing more than to be liked. And that is a fault in so many ways.

5 comments:

RottweilerTOM said...

Tyler, my friend, we must have dinner. I can tell you how exactly I deal with it, as an active gay athlete (Sdffl) not being liked that is. From a mental and social perspective, sometimes not being liked offers you alot of insight in appreciating the not being liked part, and you are a better person for it. I have come to grips that in some ways I prefer that way. :)

RottweilerTOM said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RottweilerTOM said...

Of course, if Mateo chooses to not like you then i can't help you.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh... Tyler needs a big hug!

Greg said...

long time no see big guy, --four years or something like that... strange as always I see, good for you! taking a friend to Yellowstone soon, and for some reason I found myself thinking of you. lol